Whatever works

Relationships.  The one thing that eludes so many people, who want literally nothing else in life.  They live, breathe and strive to find that one person who will be their everything.  Their knight in shining armour, caregiver, protector, provider, companion and slutty sex bitch.  The purpose of this post is not to burst anyone's balloon (well not completely anyway), but to provide a little focus to them with a little practical advice from someone who's been there and done that.

As in the pretty damn good Woody Allen movie "Whatever Works", the concept of "relationships" is far from being a straightforward, sweep me off my feet and get them in the air kind of thing.  Although your feet may well soon be pointing up at the ceiling after a chance encounter at a seedy nightclub, it's difficult to call this a "relationship" rather more just a good (if you've been lucky) screw.  And lord knows, there ain't nothing wrong with that once in awhile.

We all start out in this gay world of having this dewy eyed expectation of settling down with one guy for the rest of our lives.  And while, prima facie, there is nothing inherently wrong in this - in the end it's pretty fucking elusive.  Why?  Because although we may find someone who is perfect for a certain phase of our lives (and this may well be the majority of our life on this planet) we all ultimately change as we gain experience.  And even finding that guy is damn difficult.  So perhaps a little expectations management is in order here.

First off, if you're looking for love on an internet dating site, I recommend that you go there right this instant and change your status which reads "Relationship" to "Friends".  Go ahead, go do it now because you know that's what you've got it set to.

Back?  Good.  Why did I ask you to do this?  Really for two reasons, one because it moderately reeks of desperation and secondly because it's putting the cart before the horse.  Far be it from me to disagree with Websters Dictionary, but "relationship" isn't a noun, it's a process.  You don't get there by clicking "Relationship" just as you don't climb Mt. Everest by "beaming up" there, you have to work at it.  The good news is that the work can be pretty damn fun.

Don't be one of those people at the bar who you just know are aching for a "relationship"  They haughtily dismiss the idea of having sex with anyone because they're looking for a "relationship".  Sex is something they've decided they'll have with Mr. Right.  Well, the problem here may be that your balls will dry up from disuse before you actually find him.  Don't misunderstand, I'm not advocating sleeping around with every guy you meet at the bar in hopes of having a "relationship" (warning: this statement may set off alarms on a lie detector, should I ever be connected to one), but I am saying be a little more open to new experiences.

Relax.  Meet people, have a few cocktails and a nice dinner and you'll find the guy that's right for you for right now.  And with your best interests at heart, I hope that "for right now" is forever.  And if it's not, well then read the post entitled Acceptance Ch. 1 - an introduction for further guidance.

And to close off I leave you with one more hint.  If you are using an internet dating site to find a "relationship" don't pick a user name which contains the words "cock", "piss", "fuck" or "fist" - because the chances of finding that right guy forever may be seriously reduced.  I'm just saying.