Acceptance Ch. 1 - an introduction

(Noun):

- a disposition to tolerate or accept people or situations; "all people should practice toleration and live together in peace"

- an acceptance of yourself as you are, warts and all.

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Ok, I have to admit that I'm pretty excited about this post.  Reading it could save you literally thousands of dollars in psychiatric bills.  Really.

Sometimes an idea for a blog post comes at the oddest of times.  The idea for this post, for example, came as I sat on the toilet with my broken leg sticking out 90 degrees perpendicular to my body.  An uncomfortable way to poopNow as you can imagine and as I've already written, this is not exactly an ideal position you'd like to find yourself in when taking care of bodily functions.

At the considerable risk of sounding melodramatic, an epiphany struck me there sitting on the toilet with a wad of toilet paper in one hand and my phone in the other furiously typing the notes to this post.  As I sat there, I could have had two, vastly different, reactions to my sorry plight.

My usual reaction would have been to get depressed and think how stupid I was to get into this bizarre position by having had one too many cocktails and falling on my sorry-ass knee.  Woe is me.  I could get angry or sad and wallow in my own misery and reach for a Xanax for the duration of having this cast.

Or......not.

What's wrong with (and this is what happened) a big smile crossing my face and starting to laugh?  If I looked objectively at the situation, it's actually somewhat hysterically funny.  And let's face it, I broke my fucking leg.  It's done.  IT HAPPENED.  Deal with it and move on.

Which of the two reactions makes more sense?  In the first one, no one is happy and in the second one everybody is happy.  (Well, maybe not the person that has to help me get dressed in the morning and make my breakfast, but there are limits to the concept).  The second reaction is: "the key to a happy life".

I'll be writing a bit more in the future about acceptance and why I'm writing about it in a gay blog.  I'll include examples of it's application AND misapplication.  

I would have written it all today in one post, but I want you to come back again.  Plus, I'm mindful in this day and age of shortened twitter/facebook attention spans and that no one reads anything longer than a help wanted advertisement these days (actually, even that last sentence may have been too long).  A future post will be devoted just to this topic.  

Stay tuned. 

Steamroom Stories

So I've decided to make two postings today.  This one is less bitchy than the first one and hopefully will bring a smile to your face.  It's You Tube channel of funny little 3 minute skits that have a straight, gay tension going on in the them.  Although this is the last one that that has been posted after two years worth, it's in my opinion one of the funniest.

If you have a lot of time on your hands, it's worth watching them all from the first episode.  Even if you don't have the time, watch them anyways because these guys are very easy on the eyes.  Enjoy.

Getting cranky

So I am now in my 4th day of leg immobilization.  And although I am grateful to have found an illness which matches my lifestyle (sitting in bed all day, reading the internet and smoking) I find that it is beginning to get on my nerves.  Simple things like sitting on a toilet become awkward at best and downright painful at worst.  It doesn't help either that I had a "doctor" who wouldn't give me "proper" pain pills, instead relying on some high class aspirin crap that has a serious risk of stomach ulcers attached to it.  Who needs it, if you can't even get a little buzz on.

Anyway, do you remember that TV show where they show these two older guys from the back sitting in a theater criticizing movies that were being shown on the screen?  Well, this post is going to be like that.  But instead of movies and two old men in a theater, it's smithster11 typing from bed.

Let's start from what is the root of the problem here.  I'm horny.  Truth be told (and I don't know if I'm alone in this) horniness has several ugly outcomes.  It's hard to fall asleep and that in itself is enough to make anyone cranky.  For God's sakes, I woke up at 3:30 a.m. this morning for no apparent reason and as much as I'd like to take a nap, it elludes me.

As a result of all this, my fantasies are taking a darker turn.  I'm thinking of doing certain things to certain people that really never occurred to me before.  Oddly enough, no one seems to be interested when I tell them I have a broken leg and a cast - whatever happened to hiring the handicapped?

But I always seek to look at the bright side and so far I think there are two things.  I ordered this pretty cool rubber thing (no, not THAT rubber thing) that you slide over your cast so that you can take a shower and it arrived yesterday.  You have no idea of how something so simple can cause you so much joy - particularly as it effectively ends my battle with the bidet, of which I'll tell you there were several comic episodes (see recent update to Vice - there is a downside).

Oh wait, I said there were two bright sides...  It is...ummm, hmmm let's see.  Oh yeah, I found an app for playing Scrabble on-line with faceless players.  It has a chat feature.  I just hope I don't forget which chat room I'm in and try to hit up some poor Scrabble playing granda for a blowjob.

Wow that's really.....specific

So sitting here with my broken leg (please see previous post for details) smithster11 has discovered more interesting things to be found on the internet.  In a (potentially futile) attempt to get someone to read AND comment (!!!) on my ramblings, I've joined something called WebRing.  Here I've found a whole new world of internet blogs that I didn't know existed (and I'm still not quite certain as to WHY they exist).

As a quick side note, if you click on the link above I apparently get "points" which can be exchanged for fabulous gifts, such as a toaster or a set of steak knives. So....

As I searched through various "rings" I was not only pretty surprised by the specificity of some of the rings, but I also burst out laughing uncontrollably as well.  I hope it's obvious that I'm not putting any of these things down, I'm pretty much a "live and let live" kind of a guy.  Yet I have to wonder what kind of world we live in that has groups of people who are attracted to sites under the heading: "Chinese lesbian pagan real estate agents".

Don't get me wrong I'm sure that in real life there, in fact, exist Chinese lesbian pagan real estate agents - at least 3 anyway, but what the hell do you chat about in a group this specific?  "Listen Foo Kinga, there's a fabulous property for sale in Shanghai right next to a Wiccan church and within walking distance to the dyke bar!!"  "Fabulous!"  Next topic?

Sometimes I wonder if we haven't begun to define ourselves in groupings that are slightly too narrow.  Yes, it's pretty much a given that you'll find instant and complete acceptance in a group of 3 people, but isn't that kind of acceptance like valium?  You feel all warm and cozy, but you're left really with nothing other than a forgotten few hours.  Isn't it better to be out and about amongst a group of people with varied interests so that you can teach and learn?

I've been accused in some circles of being a tad too fatalistic when it comes to the changes that modern day living has wrought upon mankind (i.e. - see how many post internet children can properly spell without auto correct or read a map), but I am assured that doomsday messages were also the norm back in the day when the printing press and electricity were introduced.

But from where I sit (currently on my ass in bed with a cast!) these changes seem more profound.  We are placing our ability to survive on the internet.  And my hope is that when and if, one day, the entire internet crashes for a few days, we are not all left crashing our cars into each other and writing "wher iz da gaz stayshun" notes with crayons.

Was this too serious?  First reader to comment wins a free set of steak knives.

Vice - there is a down side

How appropriate that this post should come right after my previous one about getting older.  In case you haven't read it, it's about your body starting to let you down.  Well, my body has - as I found out at the doctors office this morning - not only let me down, but has stomped and kicked me for it's sick pleasure.  

But I'll start from the beginning.  Friday evening - as I'm known to occasionally do - I sat down with my friend to evening cocktails.  The night was briskly cold, but with the heater on and the dogs cuddling next to me, it was fantastic.  Unfortunately - as I'm known to occasionally do - things got a little out of hand and I probably had one two three too many that night.  On my way to make yet another, I tripped on a leaf and fell to the ground, apparently I'm told - falling on my knee.

Not thinking much of it, I continued on my merry inebriated way.  I mean I couldn't really have been that wasted, as I even flossed my teeth before going to bed.  But waking up the next morning in sheer agony told me that something wasn't exactly right.  So we trundle off to the doctor for an X-ray, MRI and a healthy helping of pain medication.  The results came back this morning and it turns out that some ligament or other has detached from something else.  This is not good.  

The end result?  My fucking leg is now immoblized for a whole damned month!  The worst part of it?  The dogs looking at me hobbling around and glaring at me: when the hell are you taking us for a god damned walk??  What can I tell them other than their master is a blithering, sodden idiot.  And that pretty much sums up how I'm feeling at the moment.

I have witnessed exciting plans to visit Cairo in a couple of weeks, swirl slowly around and down the toilet.  The moral of the story?  Vices can be exciting and fun, but always and I mean always, look out for leaves.

Update on Friday, October 28, 2011 at 14:54 by smithster11

Quick update:  officially the worst part of it is now is trying to take a shower and clean myself.  Helpful hint for those unfamiliar - never turn only the cold water tap off whilst sitting on a bidet.  Although the result is fairly comical you'll find yourself in a bit of pain.