Statistics: expectations management

Don't panic, this isn't going to be a math lesson.  As always it will be a life lesson and a guide to avoiding disappointment in your internet searches.  Let's start with a nice round number like 1,000.  That is precisely how many profiles you'll have to open to find one person that you're attracted to and that is attracted to you. ( * - see smithster11's rule of life number 8, below)  Of course, there may be exceptions to this rule - but not many.  If you look like Josh Hartnett or Hunter Parrish AND you're willing to advertise yourself fully, then chances are the number of profiles falls to something in the double digits - say 17.

But unfortunately, the average public is......well, average.  This is the lot we have all been dealt in life and the secret to success in life is.....well, dealing with it.  So let's break down that rather daunting 1,000 a bit so you don't go home today and just start to frantically open profiles, waiting to hit 1,000.  Oh no, you're going to have to work for it.

So, of the 1,000:

450 - the number of times either you'll write something mundane like "hi, what's up" to someone you think you are moderately attracted to or someone will message you with the same.

200 - the number of times someone will answer with something equally as mundane as "nothing, how about you"  (I told you this was going to be work, but for God's sake can't we come up with something a little more interesting to talk about off the bat?)

50 - is the number of people you may begin to carry out a meaningful and long lasting chat with (say 3-5 messages)

10 - the number of people you will get as far with as to exchange phone numbers with.  Things are beginning to look up now.

4 - is the number of people you will actually continue conversing with AND setup a concrete meeting with.  Getting closer.

3 - is the number of guys who show up.

2 - is the number of people who look like their internet profile.

1 - is the number of people you'll click with and have some fun with.

So that's all there is to it.  Think of the heartache I've saved you from.   

* smithster11's rule of life #8:  there are exactly two types of people in the world.  1) those people you like more than they like you, and 2) those people that like you more than you like them.

Proper Internet Pictures

I've seen a lot of profiles of guys on the internet lately, I thought it may be useful to provide our less experienced users a little bit of guidance on how to post proper profile pictures of themselves on the internet, for the maximum effect.

This for example, would be a fine picture and the perfect start to your search for sex a date: 

Note) Just a random guy off the internet, if I've screwed up a copyright somewhere let me know.However, some people are little bit concerned about privacy to show this much of themselves (translation: either your boyfriend will find out that you've been cruising the internet for dates or everyone at work will find out that you're gay). So in that case, a picture that looks like this may potentially be more appropriate:

However, it is possible to take the privacy concern thing a little bit too far - something I have personally seen several times.  Here is an example of that and I think we can officially call it an "internet dating profile picture fail".  I think it's pretty safe to say that this picture isn't going to get you very much attention:

International "relations"

Since I began my tireless research (yeah, that's a good word - let's call it research) on www.gayromeo.com (or www.planetromeo.com for those of you logging in at work) there has been one thing that has given me a whole new faith in mankind.  I know this may sound a bit dramatic at first, but just read on.

During the course of my research, I've taken the opportunity to look at countless profiles of guys in countries to which I happen to have a current fetish attraction to.  Lately, that seems to be guys in the Middle East.  Jewish or Arab, I don't care - they're all cut and smoking hot.  (If my friends ever found out that I was attracted to guys with hair on their chest, I'm certain that they would have me committed to an insane asylum, as all I'm life I've been into young hairless twink boys - so let's keep this our little secret, ok?)

But I digress.  How, you're probably asking yourselves at this point, does smithster11's facination with Middle Eastern men translate into a newly found hope and faith in mankind?  Well, it's this:

No matter where you're from, no matter what your religion, no matter if you are gay or bi...we all just want to get laid!  We truly are all alike and want the same things in life.  Look at profiles from anywhere in the world and you'll see that they all look pretty much the same (pictures of penises, naked bodies (if you've got a nice one to show) and the stated desire of wanting sex.

So if we've got a base to understand mankind and we see that deep down we are all pretty much alike, how hard can it be to achieve world peace?  Let's get started, one guy at a time.